


6). Almost

by basolton



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Carry On Round Robin, M/M, SnowBaz, Tropes, Watford Fifth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 06:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19436050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basolton/pseuds/basolton
Summary: Simon Snow is still dealing with his new findings of Baz Pitch and attempts to make a solution.Chapter six of the Carry On Round Robin. Trope-Almost Kiss





	6). Almost

How am I supposed to process this? That Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, my supposed arch-nemesis, has been in love with me this whole time?

Crowley, Baz really is awful with his emotions if that's his idea of flirting.

I'm walking around the Courtyard trying to collect my thoughts. I have no clue how I'm going to function knowing this, without constantly making it awkward. (Honestly, he'll do that himself. Great snakes, he caught me reading _his diary_.

I kick at the grass and groan. I'm already shit at social situations, this is way beyond something I can handle. Usually, this is something I would go to Penny about, but that feels a little rude of me to tell her. I might just leave it until tomorrow, let it blow over a little. I don't want to talk to Baz about this until I can be a little bit sure that he's not going to rip my head off.

\---

After an unusually silent and long dinner with Penny and Aggs, I slip into our room. The lights are off, and Baz is already in bed under the covers. _Thank God._ I tiptoe over to the bathroom, shutting the door hastily. I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know why I'm being so weird around him. Because for all he knows, he thinks I read a page or two. But I reckon it's reasonable to feel weird when you've just found out that your roommate/arch-nemesis is gay for you.

As I brush my teeth, I think over what I should say to him. I also think over whether or not I actually feel anything back. My feelings, whatever they are, are all muddled up because of the past few years. It's hard to tell whether the feeling of wanting to punch him also includes wanting to kiss him senseless. He's a handsome bloke, one thing I've always been jealous of, but maybe that was attraction, not jealousy.

And then there's Agatha. What will I tell her? It's not like this is going to get rid of my feelings for her completely. We've only just gotten more comfortable with each other recently as well.

I'm pretty sure I've just made this ten times more confusing, and I could use hours of more thinking time, but I exit the bathroom anyways. Baz is still curled up, asleep.

I crawl into bed and listen to Baz's steady breathing before I fall asleep thinking of him. Not very strange, but for the first time, the thoughts aren't hostile.

\---

Baz is already gone when I wake up, so I can relax as I get ready. And when I get to breakfast, he's there in his usual spot between Dev and Niall, glaring at me as if the last few weeks hadn't happened. It feels oddly normal.

During classes, he continues with his normal glares and occasional insult. I ignore them, though.

We're doing some practise in elocution--I (thankfully) am partnered with Penny. We're each assigned a dying rose, and we have to use the spell _‘April Showers’_ to revive them.  
This shouldn't be too hard. At least it doesn't involve fire and the risk of burning Watford down. Penny, of course, revives the flower perfectly. But when I do it, my mind is elsewhere and completely fucks up the spell. Instead of restoring the flower, it ends up bursting into flames and disintegrating. I was focusing on how Baz told me how to cast a spell, and the thought of fire must've burnt the flower.

Miss Possibelf walks by and tsks. "Try to clear your mind, Mr. Snow. Here's another rose to try again with." Penny looks at me, half disappointed and half encouraging.

I shrug, "Sorry Pen, I'm trying."

Baz, having watched this whole ordeal, sneers at me, "Simon if you can't perform a simple spell like _‘April Showers’_ then why even bother calling yourself a mage." Typically I would be working myself up to go off, but because of recent discoveries, I can't help but grin at him.

This is something I've probably heard Penny talk about, but now that I know that he loves me, I know that he's just afraid of his feelings and denying them, in the process using anger and resentment as a defense mechanism. Not only to throw me off but to also convince himself that he can get rid of his feelings.

His brows furrow at my smile. "Did you hit your head or something? I just insulted you, and you're smiling you've won the bloody lottery," he snaps. My grin just grows, and he shoots me another glare before turning back to Dev.

Nothing else happens between Baz and me during the class, and when we're dismissed, we both rush out.

I pull Aggie over in the hall, eyes still on Baz as he strides gracefully away. "Hey Aggs," I say, kissing her on the cheek. She starts talking about some horse event that's happening this weekend, and I try to make it seem listening, but I'm really not. I've never really cared for her horse things, and right now, there are more crucial things to think about.

Agatha notices my disinterest, looking angry for a second, but she puts on her mask. "Okay, what's wrong? you're not even paying attention!"

I smile apologetically. "I'm just- it's- what do you do if you've been caught reading someone's diary and find out something you probably weren't supposed to know? Should I confront him--them?"

She sighs, "Simon..."

"I know this is stupid, but please answer the questions. I'm shit at stuff like this," I plead, running a hand through my hair.

"Well, first of all, you should apologize. But the rest depends on what you read. Like, did he admit to murder?" At this point, I'm pretty sure she knows we're talking about Baz. I hate how predictable my issues are.

"No, he admitted to being in love with someone."

"Oh-" she breathes out, a blush rising up her face. Of course, that got her attention. She probably hopes that it's about her. I've always noticed the way she looks at him. "Just talk it out like guys do. Do that bro shit, you know?"

I huff. "Aggie it's not just some girl he likes. It-It's a guy." I can't tell her who. I don't think I can even tell Penny who. I've already mucked it up with him, I don't want to make it worse by spreading rumors.

Her perfectly threaded eyebrows raise to the fucking gods. "Oh! Ah well, I guess that makes a little sense, I mean with him being so dramatic all the time." Now that she points it out, I guess she's right. But that's a little stereotypical innit?

"I don't have much experience with coming out, but I would just be supportive of him and let him know that you accept him. I mean, coming out is a really hard thing for someone to do, even more so when it's not on their own terms." As she speaks, my eyes go wide.

"I gotta go, Aggs. Thanks for your help," I say, scrambling away and speed walking through the halls. It never occurred to me that he would be scared of me or my thoughts about the diary because I was so focused on the uncomfortable-ness of it all. I didn't stop to think about what it would be like to find the boy you love reading the diary all about the boy you love.

I climb the stairs to the Mummer's House two steps at a time. _Guess the time to talk to him is now._

Walking in quietly, I make sure that the door doesn't slam. (I want to be as calm as possible. It's easier to deal with Baz when I'm not dealing with myself.) Baz is sitting on his bed, reading some French novel. I sit down on the edge of my bed and look at him expectantly.

He glances up. "Snow, what do you want?" he growls out. Okay, still angry. Which is quite reasonable.

I take a deep breath and shrug. "I, erm, I lied before. I did read quite a bit of your uh diary, and I wanna apologize. It wasn't right of me to continue reading, let alone snoop around in your drawers at all," I'm not finished, but Baz scrambles up from his bed, absolutely enraged.

I hold up my hand, which miraculously stops him from moving, but doesn't stop him from glaring. "Let me finish. I support you and I don't care that you're gay Baz. That doesn't change anything and honestly, I wish you had told me earlier."

He snorts, cutting me off. "Why? So you could have used it against me? Because perfect Basil isn't so perfect anymore?" _First of all, you're also a vampire, which I think qualifies as well._

I groan and tangle my hands in my curls. I don't know how I forgot how hostile he gets when he feels any other emotion. "Because maybe things would be different. Less fighting and more...you know, bonding."

Baz shakes his head but stays silent this time.

"And the whole you being in love with me thing..." I trail off, taking a step towards him. "Although I don't think it's love on my end, the obsession has definitely grown into something close, I was just too thick to notice." I take another stride towards him.

"Simon..." Something in him softens at my words. He looks weak, almost, compared to his usual stature. I like having him under my thumb like this. No aggression, no wondering where he is, or what he's plotting. He's just here with me, safe from the world. I observe his facial features because I've never gotten to look at him this close. His face isn't actually all that perfect, I've noticed. He's still bloody gorgeous, but his nose is high and crooked (oops) and his cheeks bones seem to be trying to fly away. But _his eyes_ , his eyes are actually the most beautiful thing I think I've seen. Pools of stormy grey and flecks of bright blue. Almost like a sky as a storm fades. _I want to kiss him_ , I realize. I'm not sure if he actually wants this, and this could have been all a plot to humiliate me, but I _really_ want to kiss him.  
I reach out and grasp his hand. _I can't believe I'm actually about to kiss Baz Pitch_ , I think as slowly lean in, shortening the distance. I don't think either of us is breathing, afraid to ruin the moment. I should just kiss him already, Jesus.

My lips almost brush his when from behind us, the door slams open. "Simon, are you alright?" someone asks. Baz and I spring apart so fast, I might have even teleported. It’s just Penny. Baz acts casual, pretending to be lounging on his bed, but I'm all jittery and nervous like I was caught committing a crime. (To Penny, it might as well have been one)

"Yeah, everything's alright. Why, uh, wouldn't it be?" I shrug, voice wavering.

Penny's eyes bolt suspiciously between Baz and I. "Nothing...Aggie said something that made it sound like you were in trouble." _Fucking hell, Aggs._

She straightens up and rolls her eyes. "Anyways, it's almost dinner and you don't wanna be late."

I look to Baz, almost asking for permission, but he just stares back coolly, as if nothing was different between us. "Come on, Si" Penny presses, waving me on. I nod and walk out the door but not before looking at Baz once more. He better not shut down after all this progress, the next time I see him. I've only just realized I like him.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that this chapter was kind of uneventful, the trope isn't v exciting  
> but i had fun participating in this and I'm excited to see how the other writers grow the story


End file.
